Tuesday, 26 August 2014

[GW2] Flipper Tested, Aquaman Approved

In these troubling time of community chaos, bad PR and dilapidated dungeons I think its important we refocus our attention on the important issues facing the Guild Wars 2 community:

Why is it that we don't have more underwater breather skins?

I mean, the opportunity for flavour is immense, many of humanity's greatest tales take place deep below the sea, and they've come up with innumerble means through which us feeble fleshy pods can venture deep below the waves. Just a few ideas I came up with on the fly:

Bubble Head Charm
This is perhaps most famous for being the charm used by Cedric Diggory and Fleur Delacour during the Tri-Wizard Cup in Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. In the movie these character use the charm to rescue their friends and family from the bottom of a lake. Interesting piece of trivia: Fleur also used it to steal a sneaky glance at Edward Cullen all wet before he became a vampire. The more you know.
Imagine your character with an undulating bubble of air surrounding their head instead of the boring old mouth-breather they currently have. That'd be pretty sweet - eh? EH?
The effect could encompass the entire head, or just the mouth and nose. Maybe it could even expand and contract as if your character is breathing?

Big Old-World Divers Helmets
Olde-worlde divers donned cumbersome diving helmets to provide a constant supply of air and to protect their head from falling fish and sharks and stuff. The helmet had a pipe which lead to the surface and air was constantly pumped down to the diver. Crucially, the helmet was just a part of an entire air-tight suit (you couldn't just pull the helmet on and hop into the ocean, you crazy person. tsk).

I guess the whole suit would be a bit of overkill for simply underwater-wear (though, perhaps an outfit for when we take on The Deep Sea Dragon? ANet? Gotta get dat Gemstore dollah), so in-game we could make do with just the helmet resting on our shoulders and we'd have to suspend disbelief and trust that it provides adequate oxygen (perhaps a pipe could also trail from the top of the helm and fade off a couple of foot above the characters head?)

Some Kind of Animorph?
Again - an idea I stole from that one chapter in Harry Potter, so sue me. In the book/film Viktor Krum transforms himself into a half-shark-half-man-bear-pig in order save Hermione from the lake and sneak a peak at Edward Cullen all wet n stuff. 

I'm no marine biologist, but I reckon ol'Vik must have changed into a Bull Shark ((Carcharhinus leucas), one of the fresh-water versions - thanks wikipedia), but there's no reason why we as open minded Tyrians of the world couldn't branch out. Alligator heads, seal heads, PENGUIN HEADS come on people, seriously. Jees.

Freaking Snorkel
I mean - why isn't this already a thing? Hang on, let me check the wiki to see if this is already a thing...

It's not. Seriously? Stick it on the Gem Store for 100 gems and I bet people would buy it. We've already got the goggles skin and the aqua breather skin - just stick them together and poke a pipe out the top. Bobs your uncle, Fanny's your aunt. Thanks ANet I'll expect a cheque in the post.

Kevin Costner style Gills (Are they merely vestigial or are they functional now?)
Just kidding. Kevin Costner, Ew.


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